Today, my doctors called to tell me my surgery is set up for Friday, November 21st at 8:00AM. I will undergo a double mastectomy – my tatas can’t be saved. 😦 As soon as my breast surgeon is done, my plastic surgeon will be allowed to come in and start the reconstruction process. Hopefully, the fake ones won’t try to kill me! 🙂
I think with the date being set comes the reality of what’s about to come. For a brief moment, I let fear in through a crack in my door. Instead of feeding it, I opened my Bible and this was my meditation verse:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
I’m not sure this verse is really talking about offering a piece of my body as an actual living sacrifice, but I do pray that my struggle will be done in such a way that is considered holy and will be pleasing to God. It’s hard to think of cancer as a tool to worship God with, but He keeps giving me reasons to praise Him through this storm so I’m thinking it’s possible!
Since before I ever even had anything to be concerned about, I started asking God to change me. I told Him my mind was my worst enemy, and my faith was lacking. I asked for His guidance and a new mindset. Little did I know what He had in store for me. Wow! Maybe I should have been a little more specific with my requests though.
And that last part says it all – God’s will is GOOD, PLEASING, & PERFECT!
Cancer is good. Cancer is pleasing. Cancer is perfect. Those statements sound crazy, but I have faith God will prove them all to be so.
On a side note, I need to ask for prayers for this horrible head cold that’s currently kicking my behind! It’s moved down into my chest, and I’m running a fever. It’s wiped me out, so I’d appreciate all the prayers y’all can send up for me. That sounds kind of selfish, but everyone keeps asking me what I need. Right now, I need to feel better and to get my strength back to prepare for the next battle in front of me.
Thanks to all who have already sent up prayers on my behalf, for the gifts you’ve unselfishly given to me and my family, for the kind words, the stories of survival, the songs that say so much, and the support that holds me up every day.
God granted courage to conquer cancer! I’m thankful today He’s proving once again I’m not in this fight alone!!!