I don’t know how I could possibly endure chemo without God and my husband. God grants me peace. Jonathan drives me there. Otherwise, I might head for the beach instead of the infusion lab.
After just 4 rounds of AC chemo, chemo is more petrifying than it was before I ever underwent my first round. I have to pray for God granted peace every day. I cling to verses like Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” I wish I could put into words what that kind of peace feels like. It’s as though I’m melting into the arms of Jesus.
Tonight, my baby sister, Roni, posted a picture of a sunrise with a comment about the dawning of a new day. It was beautiful. Living on the prairie for so long, I miss the sunrises and sunsets, but I never realized God’s meaning in them until going through all of this. Every day starts out beautiful and no matter what happens throughout that day, it ends beautifully as well. Chemo doesn’t always seem like or feel like a “beautiful thing”, but so many beautiful things have happened because of this journey. Therefore, I’ll give thanks even for the rounds of chemo I never want to take, and the fear that it brings that’s taught me to cling to God and His Word.
Tomorrow begins a new chapter in this fight against poorly behaving cells acting badly.