April 9, 2015: Abraxane Round #4

Abraxane Round #4:

This is day one & I’m winning! It’s so great to say that when I feel like I’ve lost so many days between Round #3 and this round.

My labs were great across the board. Chemo vacation did its job!

I haven’t suffered from neuropathy at all with this type of chemo. Praise The Lord! The few days I had it while on Taxol was enough to know how thankful I am this has stayed away.

My nails are turning orange though – the beginning of “chemo circles”. Hopefully, they will all stay attached & just look bad. My doctor said to just keep them short. As if growing them out is even a choice. 🙂 They break and splinter off all the time. They also hurt like artificial nails right before they pop off, which is why I asked the doctor about them in the first place.

My left side of my ribcage has been hurting pretty bad, so I asked about this hoping I had just been doing something with my left arm out of protection that was causing this. Instead, she says it’s probably just inflammation pain caused by the chemo. What’s the natural cure for inflammation? I’m done with drugs. I’ve heard something before, but I can’t remember what it is now.

My left breast is starting to look deformed. I feared something was wrong with my expanders. I asked Dr. Krekow about it and was shocked to hear it probably has a lot more to do with the swelling finally going down from my mastectomy and port surgeries. Really?!?! It’s been 4 1/2 months & there’s still so much swelling on my right side! I’m sure that’s caused by the lymph nodes being removed. I should have asked her, but I didn’t think of it at the time. Who would have thought it took so long to heal? Maybe chemo is to blame for this too. Hmmm….

We decided the patch is too expensive even with insurance starting to cover part of it, so I’m trying this round of chemo without it. We shall see if I regret that choice later. I really couldn’t tell a difference last time when I used it. I might be becoming my own lab rat. Scary!

I went back to my regular infusion nurse today. Once again, no pain when accessing my port. That’s a full month of pain free sticks. That’s one reason why chemo patients have them. Thinking of the healing process then, it must of took about 3 months to totally heal from port surgery. Wow! I can probably blame chemo for that too!

I hate chemo if you haven’t figured that out yet already. Lots of people tell me I will be grateful for it one day. I think I’ll be grateful for the strength and growth that comes from surviving chemo, but I honestly am not sure the side effects are worth it all. I will continue to support research methods for another way. There has to be a better way to cure cancer – I have to hold on to that hope! Twenty years from now, I pray this isn’t the way!

I had no issues during infusion. I can honestly say this is one great positive to Abraxane. My bag is tiny in comparison to most. It takes about 30 min. for it to run through my line. I don’t get dizzy or nauseated. It’s been the best kind of infused chemo to date in my book. Thank you God for this gift!

I’m winning today! I haven’t been sick. I haven’t been excessively fatigued. I’m starving and want to eat everything. Extra steroids are to blame for this. They are a two-edged sword. Great for helping with appetite. Horrible for my body image. My brain has received all these messages from my blood screaming, “Danger! Danger!” When they get too low. My brain in turn decides all fat must be stored in my mid-section. Not happy! I need to escape to a secluded beach now, & I’ll still be in a full piece with a maxi dress over it. Ugh! Proof I’m still a woman even without any female hormones! Thankfully, Jon still tells me I’m beautiful and loves me. God still loves me. My kids love me. That’s all that really matters. I’ve worked steroid fat off before. It sucked, but it’s possible! “All things are possible…” – I think that’s direct from God Himself. I’ll hold on to that faith!

Abraxane is a sneaky kind of chemo. Its side effects I’ve learned actually come later. It’s like the calm before the storm. My Friday afternoons to Monday afternoons are usually the hardest. I’m hoping I can survive tomorrow at work. Prayer Warriors, there’s my prayer request.

Psalm 66:19 – but God has surely listened and has heard my prayer.



About courage2conquercancer

At the age of 40, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is an account of my journey from my discovery and beyond.
This entry was posted in Abraxane, chemo, faith, family and cancer, reconstruction, side effects and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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