May 3, 2015: Oscar the Grouch Days

I don’t live in a house full of cancer patients. No, I’m the only one. So I’m not for sure if these “Oscar the Grouch Days” I have from time to time are common among other cancer patients, or if I’m just being normal but just more aware of how I feel each day. 

Today, I’d like to hang out in Oscar’s brand new, oversized,  never been used before, stainless steal, state of the art with AC trash can until all the yuck falls of, so I can climb out happy and joyful. 

I’ve tried opening my mouth. No, I shouldn’t do that again. I’ll just be quiet as my emotions boil like molten rock and just pray this volcano within me doesn’t erupt. If it does, I fear the worst hit will be my family. They don’t deserve that. They are the ones taking care of me and have suffered more than anyone other than myself. 

Days like today, it’d be nice to disappear to the beach or even the mountains. In the spring, mountains have some amazing waterfalls. Waterfalls & waves are in the same awe factor. Instead, I’ve escaped to a moment in the sun I’m not allowed to stay in. 

I’ll return inside to go accomplish something. My emotions usually steam from all the things I can’t do or other don’t do, so I’m going to go find joy in things I can do until joy overrides the grouchiness & Oscar comes out smelling like spring flowers.  

 

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About courage2conquercancer

At the age of 40, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is an account of my journey from my discovery and beyond.
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