May 4, 2015: Thankful I Don’t Have to Drive the Bus

It doesn’t matter what journey in life you are on, chances are you’ve ran into dead ends or have had to navigate over some rough terrain. I know my life wasn’t full of freshly paved, smooth highways before I was diagnosed with cancer. I didn’t always seek God out during those rough patches of highway, nor did I praise Him when I was cruising down easy street. 

As a Christian, I was taught God is always with me. I have to admit there were many times when God felt as far away from me as the farthest star. If I was off living a wild, crazy and unGodly lifestyle, I would have expected God to seem far away. The truth is He often seemed much closer when I was trying to get away from Him than when I was trying to walk in step with Him. 

There have been times when I promise you I have heard the voice of God. I have been covered in God’s peace. I know this because I watched my approach to life change dramatically in a moment. My personality and many of my life-long habits instantly became different. It was weird hearing myself talk at times. I saw the looks on my family’s faces as if I was some crazy lady. How could I be so calm? Why was I okay with everything? I wasn’t. God was. And I truly “let go and let God” which is much harder to do than it sounds by the way. When I “let go”, I had to let go of all my goals and wants, and I had to have faith God’s plans and desires for my life would be far better than anything I could imagine for my own life. 

I’d love to tell you that I’ve just sat in the back seat and allowed God to chafferer me down the cancer road. No, I try to take the wheel back some times. I’ve tried giving Him direct directions. Every time, He’s reminded me in some way that I am not in charge, and I really don’t want to drive this bus because I’m completely navigationally challenged anyway. Besides, He’s the only one that knows where I’m going. 

Today was a day when I was thankful God told me I didn’t have to drive the bus. He’s got it. It’s not that this day has been tougher or rougher than a previous day, far from it in fact. It was just a day when God reminded me that faith in Him is all I need. His plans are good, even the parts I don’t understand. His will for my life will never take me down the wrong road. I needed that encouragement today, and it was there. 

Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ – “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”


About courage2conquercancer

At the age of 40, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is an account of my journey from my discovery and beyond.
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