June 28th, 2015: It’s Just Hair

It’s just hair, so why the big fuss?  I don’t know. It’s really not what I thought it was. It’s just hair. It’s not who I am.  

My son & I in September before I was diagnosed in October of 2014. 

But cutting it off before chemo brought me and others to tears. It wasn’t really my hair we were crying over though. It was why I was cutting it off that caused the heartache.  

My husband and I after I got my hair all cut off. 

When I started losing my hair, I was sick inside. I laughed so I wouldn’t cry, but the tears still came. Again, the real tears were caused by the reason I was losing my hair and not the real loss of it. Cancer and chemo were stealing it. Once it was all gone, I was actually thankful. I hated  the disgusting process of losing my hair. Having no hair wasn’t as hard on me as it might have been on everyone who saw me bald. Over time those in my house were as comfortable with my bald head as I was. I hardly ever wore a head covering at home unless I was cold.  

 My daughter actually took my first bald picture with her as a way to cheer me up on a day I wasn’t feeling so great inside. 

Then the process of growing it back out began. It’s probably been as painful, although much less disgusting, than losing it. I’ve tried to find things to celebrate along the way.  

 Being able to see my hairline again – Celebrate!

  Let there be fuzz – Celebrate!
  The buzz cut look but no bald spots – Celebrate!
  And now it’s long enough to spike up – Celebrate!

Progress comes and before long it’ll be long again or maybe I’ll find that perfect-for-me cut somewhere in between. I just hope I never forget the beauty found in knowing that hair is just hair and with it or without it I am still me. That’s probably the biggest celebration of all!

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About courage2conquercancer

At the age of 40, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is an account of my journey from my discovery and beyond.
This entry was posted in breast cancer, breast cancer and kids, chemo, family and cancer, side effects, Survivor and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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