Today wasn’t really going my way. I hadn’t slept. My kidneys were hurting. I was waiting to see if my primary care physician could squeeze me into his busy day when my plastic surgeon’s office called and told me just to go to the ER where my surgeon was doing surgery. My husband is too busy at work to talk. My son is off fishing, and I have mixed feelings about leaving him out there not knowing when I might get out of the ER. You never know how that’s all going to play out. I get my daughter home from work, and I’m trying to get myself ready to go to the ER all alone. This isn’t so much a physical battle as it is a mental battle. I’ve learned mindset is very important. I’ve said my prayer for strength and courage just as my daughter tells me there’s a person at the door with a package that needs me to sign something. Hmmm…I’m not expecting mail, especially nothing I need to sign.
Curiousity trumps pain. I open the very well wrapped packed until I get to an envelope and another wrapped package. I open the envelope and read the letter out loud so my daughter can hear it too. Through the whole cancer thing I’ve tried to stand pretty tough in front of my kiddos. I cried when my hair all fell out, and I cried today as I read the words of this letter. This unknown person’s words touched my inner soul. My weakened psyche was strengthened and the love and kindness of mankind was brought to the forefront.
Most of you won’t really understand the significance of the gift wrapped so many times inside the package, but it’s worth more than money could ever buy and I will treasure it my entire life. Inside the final bag was a silver pig. Not just any silver pig, but a special “one of a kind” pig personalized just for me. I belong to an amazing group of people called The HATErs. Our mission under the leadership of the starter of The HATE Project, Farmer Rob, is to do good for others. A pig has become a symbol of this group. There aren’t just a lot of pigs out there. This particular pig is one of three, and this one is now one of one because no one else’s looks like mine. This pig made me cry for several reasons.
- Someone saw good in me.
- Someone believed in the cause behind our Recovery Tee mission of giving back to others in need.
- Steel Flame’s mark is on my pig. I’ve worn a Steel Flame necklace through much of my cancer treatment. Both Steel Flame necklaces were gifted to me after I got cancer from other HATErs and the owner of Steel Flame.
- The cancer ribbon of hope is also on my pig. Cancer isn’t all bad. Cancer has changed the way I view God, life, people and myself. That ribbon reminds me cancer is a blessing in just as many ways as it is a curse.
- My name is on this pig. Spelled correctly and everything. I think this is only the 4th personalized item I’ve ever had where my name has been spelled correctly. This also proves to me that whomever gifted me this pig wanted to ensure I never gave it away. It’s to be my forever pig. It’s for me to hold close and remember to Do Good and HATE On!
I have no clue who sent me this pig, but their note is just as valuable to me as the pig. Words are powerful. I think we forget just how powerful they can be. Words can be dangerous weapons, but in this case they were used to give a broken psyche strength to face an unknown situation seemingly alone. The package couldn’t have arrived at a better time and day. It came exactly when I needed it the most. I call that a God thing! It’s happened to me too many times in the past nine months to just dismiss.
My ER visit produced nothing serious enough for them to fear for my life. I left with the doctor telling me things he was sure weren’t wrong and some possible issues. I might simply have a kidney infection. They are sending off for cultures to make sure no staph grows or other bacteria. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want staph to show up in my kidneys though. That didn’t sound like it would be a good thing. My CT shows a couple of spots my breast surgeon and oncologist need to look at and consider keeping an eye on over the course of the next few weeks. If it’s anything serious, I have two more surgeries happening in the next 24 weeks so I’m sure they can get rid of anything that doesn’t need to be there. I’ve learned not to worry about anything. God has granted me peace over things I never experienced before. I’m learning to just let Him have it. He’s taken my ashes of a life and is turning it into something beautiful. I have faith His work has only just began.
This week as I’ve struggled mentally with the devastation that comes from brokenness to restoration back to brokenness an unknown person sent me a pig and a note to bring happy tears needed to restore my mind.
Praise God for kind people who hear the call and answer it.