September 28, 2015: 100 is Short but so Big

Since I completed chemo on June 18th, I’ve suffered some pretty major setbacks. I’ll be honest. I’ve gotten frustrated. I’ve been hugely disappointed. I’ve fought off depression. It’s been an uphill battle lately. 

Today, more bad news. My fluid levels are still too high. It’s been 31 days since my last surgery. I still have a drain coming out of my left breast with 35-60cc of fluid draining off it daily. I still can’t take a proper shower. I still have weight restrictions and range of motion limitations. I still can’t workout like I wish I could. I don’t get to have my way. I’ve learned this past year I really like to be in control, and I really, really like when things go my way. God keeps teaching me I’m not in control, and I don’t get my way a lot. 

Tonight, I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving and somehow I ended up in Psalm 100. I’ve learned God works like that sometimes. 

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. 

Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. 

Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100 is a short chapter but how BIG this message was to me tonight. I have so much to be thankful and joyful for right now. My life story was rewritten last year, but it didn’t include a conclusion. I refuse to let these series of setbacks keep me from praising God for the greatness He’s done. 

Refocused. Renewed. 

May God grant me strength and courage to conquer whatever lies ahead. For His ways are not my ways and my understanding is lacking, but God has a plan. I trust it is good!


About courage2conquercancer

At the age of 40, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is an account of my journey from my discovery and beyond.
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