September 14, 2016: When My Hair Attacked Me

My hair has grown out long enough to cause a panic attack. Yep! It happened. This is one of those “healing moments” no one warned me about, and it was pretty traumatic. 
When you go through chemo, you know you’ll probably lose your hair. It’s one of the most common side effects of chemo. It’s devastating for both men and women. When your hair is longer than about half an inch long, it’s also a very nasty process to lose it all. You get to the point where you just want it all gone, so it will stop attacking every inch of your being. Most of us end up shaving it all off before it all falls out naturally. It’s just too gross and too emotional to deal with day after day. 
I’m in remission. I’ve been told there are no signs of any cancer in my body, but I still take a small pill every day that is basically a daily dose of chemo. And guess what it’s number one side effect is? Yep! Hair loss. 
My hair has been pretty short, so to lose a hundred strands in a day isn’t really noticed. Today though, I seemed to have lost a hundred strands all at once and now they are long enough to attack me! It sent me into a tailspin. That moment when my hair began to fall out in clumps came flooding through my memory bank. In hindsight, I know that’s not what comes next; but in that moment, I could only see all my hair falling out again. That attachment to hair business again – Ugh! I had hoped I was past all that, but I guess not. I did want to call Alaina and make an appointment to cut it back to about half an inch long though. I’m beginning to wonder if this is the real reason so many women keep their hair short after chemo. Hmmm…
I survived. I didn’t shave my hair off. My heart is beating normally again and all is well. Once again, I’ve discovered that’s a lot more to recovery than just being told you’re in remission or cancer free. 
Livin’ & learnin’!

About courage2conquercancer

At the age of 40, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is an account of my journey from my discovery and beyond.
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